Recently, I’ve tried to be pro-active about my relationship status by talking to/dating girls. Now the following is nothing new, but it is very confusing, and I totally fail to understand why this is the case: availability = disinterest.
A few girls that I’ve got talking to, we’ve had a whole bunch of things in common, we laugh at the same things, listen to similar music and generally get along. So I show some interest, and by virtue of this they retreat from me. At the same time, there are some others, that probably see the whole commonality thing going on between me and them and show their interest… I get ick’ed in the same parallel and retreat from them.
WHO WROTE THIS LOGIC?
A few years ago I got involved in personal development of my dating technique and it was great, I had great success fast and meaningless…. but at the same time made me totally numb to feeling anything; so I soon after stopped.
The problem now is that, despite knowing a bunch of stuff about attracting, I have a problem of ethics. I’d rather someone like me for me (that I liked), than for a manipulation of truths and a total focus of reading reactions and vibing off of it. However, it doesn’t seem like te people I like, like me for who I am, which then leads me to ask many more questions about whether I should change for them or just go for the people who like me. In either event I’d not be happy.
What’s with this illogical system?
From what I see, it’s all down to insecurities. If someone shows “too much” interest too soon, we think they’re seeing something in us that we didn’t intend for, or that we can do better. Conversely, you meet someone new, you like what you see and want to show that you’re interested in something more than just friends, before it becomes too late and being put in the safe category; you get disregarded for being as stated before. So what is the answer?
I hear that you should go around looking for it. I couldn’t agree more, however, how do you stop yourself from thinking it? You condition yourself to the torture you commit yourself to, I know that it’s somewhere in my head that is causing this. I’m not particularly lonely, I know I don’t really want a relationship. Yet, I wear my heart on my sleeve and that is what people are scared away by, nobody wants to commit themselves to a nursing relationship of sensitive soul.
Answer: stop thinking. Do more, there is more to life than romance. Keep yourself and mind active with lots of different things. Before long that void will be filled, and when that happens: that thing you were looking for will just happen, when you least expect it… naturally.
