This is a very personal thing I am writing about here, and anyone reading this is more than entitled to have their opinion and write what they think/feel/believe as a comment. However, bear in mind that’s your opinion/sentiment/ideal that you’re sharing, it may have no influence on mine at all, think about that before wasting a lot of time telling me about how wrong I am.
Those of you who may know me, will know that I am a very proud tee-total person, and by that I am stating that I am totally against alcohol and drug consumption. Moreover, anything chemical that influences ones behaviour or state of mind is deemed wrong in my books. I could write a whole lot about why I feel this way and be all self righteous about it. However, I am not here to do that. I am here to ask a question.
As part of my studies, I am constantly told that I should “open my mind”, my colleagues and friends are constantly telling me that I should get stoned so that I can “appreciate” things. I had a critique of my work this week and in that discussion, it was implied although not stated that I should “free my mind” and “let go”. Whilst the adult in me can interpret what freeing and letting go means and have a full grasp of that that means, the juvenile in me understands that they’re basically telling me to get a few grams of crap in my system. Having had a discussion a little while ago with my house mate, she point blank told me to just get high on some pot to understand what we’re studying, since without it nothing makes any sense at all. She further added, that without drugs art has no meaning. I wont hold this against her and I know that her point isn’t to be referenced alone, but the overall message I’ve had this semester and the whole of last year gave me the same impression.
It is at this point where I get totally confused. When has art been about drugs? One could say, it always has been, with the idea that: to get yourself high allows you to discover yourself further. I accept this, I really do. However, for me the underlying truth to art is that it is about expressing yourself and I do. Yet that is not enough. I need to be more blasé, extravagant, pompous about how I show my work.
Riiiiiight, are you following? I am probably as pompous and self-righteous as I will ever get. In fact, these are the very qualities I hate in myself and would annul if it were in my capacity. It is for this very reason I am here doing architecture, to change it from this.
natti
umm, drugs are bad…
I blame everything on them, insurity, paranoia, a feeling of hoplessness
but then I do feel as though I gain some sort of enlightnment from them,
with shrooms i understand the fivolity and stupidness of clubing, I gain a better understanding of language and a understanding of self, everthing is and is is what it is theres no need to try and undersand it. Its a shame the feelings leave me with the images. shrooms are so much more than seeing things.
with weed, yeah theres the giggles and stupid behaviour, but its also easier to undersand and learn things, because its harder to get bored, having the smallest spliff before an essay helps research because the most boring things become vaguely interesting. You find your self going out of your way to learn more about things, and learn around the subject and get really into it BUT it does kill your abilty to write it all down in a coherant essay.
With pills, everything is amazing, you have never ever felt happyness like it its like being a child but then you just hate yourself the next day (used up all the ceretion in your brain how can you feel good)
and coke, it lets you say what your really feeling with out caring about the other person… and if your as sensitive as me, and worry how what you say will affect others it is kinda liberating
alchol just turns everyone into a dickhead.
but unlike most drug users i understand its probably why i dont often feel like i have no real friends because alot of them i have made on drugs what if they dont like me as me. me as me is boring and not all that gifted or original than anyone else. I hate myself more, I Brake the law every day because I like to dabble in drugs, i forget alot more than i should and have huge mood swings.
And you know what so what if people think that you need to take them to getter better understanding of things. Drugs change you they make everything grey and maybe thats the last thing everyone needs even if they have been the trigger to produce amazing artwork and music a black and white world would be easier and I miss it.